[ She doesn't push back to dismiss the suggestion - but rather, to communicate that it simply didn't occur to her to think about it more deeply. It was over. The killer had died, and Gen is really the only other person that knows about this, aside from Rem and Light, now that she thinks about it. What purpose would thinking about it to herself serve, other than to remind her of something terrible that had happened? ]
It was a year ago already. I didn't really have time to dwell on it much back then, either... with my parents and everything. And like I said, he's dead. So what would I think about? Almost dying, over and over again? No thanks.
[ What would be left to ponder over? It'd be different if she could think over getting her revenge, or seeing to it that justice was served to the perpetrator. But it's already solved, in her opinion... She props her cheek up on her hand, leaning her weight heavily into the armrest of the chair, seeming much more at ease than she had minutes previous. It seems most of the tension has, at least for now, ebbed away, so she feels fine letting her guard down a little more.
Besides, when she's not talking or thinking about the actual, literal moments of the attack— she's fine. As long as she doesn't think about it. Which has been her method of coping for everything that's happened in the past two years, a method that clearly has zero flaws in it. Furthermore, her own ignorance of how that experience had permanently changed her into the reckless person she is today keeps her from seeing the merit in what he's talking about. Misa holds out a splayed hand to him. ]
You, on the other hand... it's not settled like that. So it makes sense to think about it.
[ Did he regret what he'd done? Could he move on from it, without the possibility of a true closure? If what he says is true, and he hasn't thought about it the whole time they've been in Horos— she has to imagine many of the same types of questions could start swirling around in his head. ]
The thought that a matter isn't worth thinking about just because the parties involved are dead. That doesn't feel right. And while that discomforting thought immediately manifests in the way Gen frowns, fingers tugging tight into the sleeves of his shirt where he has his arms crossed, the thin press of his lips makes it obvious he doesn't immediately know how to respond. On some logical level he knows that Misa's approach to her situation is messed up, but ... it's not like he'd been eager to spend a lot of time thinking about what he'd done several years back, either. How is he supposed to point out just how fucked in the head Misa is when he'd also done everything he possibly could to avoid thinking about the blood on his hands?
Gen opens his mouth to say something, pauses, changes his mind, and looks off towards the wall as he deadpans, ]
By that logic -- Makina's also gone. Our worlds are gone. What different does it make if I think about it? Not like there's anyone else here I'd try it again with.
[ So he says, but the way his last words come lingering and halting suggest that's not really the point he wants to make, and he's not happy about it. After all, he'd always avoided thinking about his demons, but that process had never come easy for him. His thoughts had always wandered back to those subjects, and a part of him almost envies how easily Misa seems to shelve subjects she simply doesn't want to think about.
... ugh, whatever. Thinking about this too hard is going to give him a headache. Gen sighs before pushing himself off the wall to stand straight once more, reaching up to brush his hand back through his hair; it's long enough that it keeps slipping out of place, and the pale strands bother him every time they slide into his field of vision. ]
Well ... do whatever you wanna do. I only wanted to ask what happened -- whatever else you do isn't really my problem. [ And somehow, he doubts she'd listen to anything he has to say, anyway. Which would be fair enough. ]
[ A part of her wants to say that he still has to live with what he'd done, which separates the two of them just on principle. He's a perpetrator, and she's a victim. Though, she supposes in some way, he's a victim of his own thinking, too. The way he says all that about it not mattering between him and Makina doesn't really convince her that he believes in what she's saying, anyway, so she figures it's a moot point. She's not about to try to tell him how to sort out his own attempts to end someone and his own life. Likewise to him, she doubts he'd ever take her opinion seriously. ]
Whatever you say, tough guy.
[ There's a breeziness to the way she says that, not condescending nor making fun of him - just a slightly worn-out sigh. It's the closest return to the way she'd spoken to him before Venera, perhaps falling just in line with his perception of how easily she can shelve things away, how easily she can fall back to "normalcy." It's not like she wants things to be strained between the two of them, after all. To her, the matter here feels settled; she understands his side better, and he understands hers. So maybe they could move on now, right? The search for Amos had certainly dampened a considerable amount of her aggression, too...
Once he starts leaning off the wall, she stands up too, feeling awkward letting someone leave while just lounging about. ]
But now you know. [ Another sigh. ] And since you do, I'll admit that I misjudged things back then, but it's not totally my fault, okay? Just saying.
[ And while she maintains that it isn't completely her fault for assuming the worst of him... the implication is that in some part, it was. It was easy to associate the scene with what she'd gone through herself, especially in such an emotionally empathetic and charged environment like Venera was. While she'd vastly prefer it if they could just go back to being normal allies and that they could go back to their regular banter, she feels it'll be even more awkward if she tries to act normal with him the next time she sees him without at the very least acknowledging the argument they'd had. There's an expectant look in her eye, as she makes eye contact with him again— plainly expecting him to accept what she said and agree. ]
[ To be honest, he'd fully expected Misa to stay lounging about while he exited her room, and he raises an eyebrow when she gets up. It makes more sense though, when he hears what she has to say. ]
Yeah, yeah. I get it.
[ That flippant answer is accompanied by an equally dismissive wave of the hand. Misa could not be blamed for finding that display of typical teenage behaviour annoying, given what they'd been talking about. But at least Gen follows it up with a low huff -- hand rising to rub at the back of his neck, tugging restlessly at the (growing-too-long) tangle of hair at the nape of his neck as he continues at a mumble: ]
... I said more than I should have, back then.
[ They're burying the hatchet like this, right? He gets it. He's not fully placated by Misa's half-assed admission of fault, and he imagines Misa won't be super pleased with his own not-quite-apology, but ... whatever. This much should be enough that they should be able to go back to pretending things are normal, at least. He's spent his whole life in a small town, he knows how things are when it's the same people stuck in the same place, having to see each other all the time -- sometimes it's best to make concessions so that day-to-day life is a little more bearable. And while Gen is hardly so forgiving that he'd make such compromises with most people ... fine. He'll go for it this time. Misa's still one of the few reminders he has of his life back home, and she's not completely wrong this time.
Still, even this bargain-bin imitation of an apology doesn't come easy to him, and there's barely enough room to let his words sink in before Gen hastily adds, ]
-- and don't go telling anyone about what you saw. Okay. [ Not quite brusque enough to be a demand, but too rude to be a request. Gen finally meets Misa's gaze, brow knitted -- looking for a moment like he's considering threatening her before he settles for muttering, ] ... really not planning on ever doing it again. So. It doesn't have anything to do with anyone here.
[ You know what, this is more than she expected from him, so she's gonna take it gratefully. At least he even admitted he did anything wrong. Though that small appreciation she felt for that is immediately dashed into the ground by his follow up comment - her expression flattens considerably. ]
Duh? Who would I even tattle on you to? And just when I was gonna say, 'I'm not gonna say anything, so no need to threaten me...'
[ There's a little hmph after she finishes rambling, an immature irritation rising to the surface. But, there's really nothing serious about it, she's just annoyed in the way someone is when they get told to do wash the dishes when they were already planning on doing it.
For a while there, she'd been having doubts on whether or not he still felt the same way he had back then— she witnessed for herself the weight of that ache he's chained to, after all. Though, the subdued way with which he admits to not having plans to ever try it again keep her from remaining too skeptical, as he really has no reason to try to convince her of it, unless he's being honest. It's a relief, however small, not that she shows an inch of it. For today, she's had enough showing any vulnerability in front of him. ]
If that's it, go on, shoo. [ She makes little shooing motions at him, apparently comfortable enough to go back to acting this way with him. ] I've got stuff to work on!
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[ She doesn't push back to dismiss the suggestion - but rather, to communicate that it simply didn't occur to her to think about it more deeply. It was over. The killer had died, and Gen is really the only other person that knows about this, aside from Rem and Light, now that she thinks about it. What purpose would thinking about it to herself serve, other than to remind her of something terrible that had happened? ]
It was a year ago already. I didn't really have time to dwell on it much back then, either... with my parents and everything. And like I said, he's dead. So what would I think about? Almost dying, over and over again? No thanks.
[ What would be left to ponder over? It'd be different if she could think over getting her revenge, or seeing to it that justice was served to the perpetrator. But it's already solved, in her opinion... She props her cheek up on her hand, leaning her weight heavily into the armrest of the chair, seeming much more at ease than she had minutes previous. It seems most of the tension has, at least for now, ebbed away, so she feels fine letting her guard down a little more.
Besides, when she's not talking or thinking about the actual, literal moments of the attack— she's fine. As long as she doesn't think about it. Which has been her method of coping for everything that's happened in the past two years, a method that clearly has zero flaws in it. Furthermore, her own ignorance of how that experience had permanently changed her into the reckless person she is today keeps her from seeing the merit in what he's talking about. Misa holds out a splayed hand to him. ]
You, on the other hand... it's not settled like that. So it makes sense to think about it.
[ Did he regret what he'd done? Could he move on from it, without the possibility of a true closure? If what he says is true, and he hasn't thought about it the whole time they've been in Horos— she has to imagine many of the same types of questions could start swirling around in his head. ]
no subject
The thought that a matter isn't worth thinking about just because the parties involved are dead. That doesn't feel right. And while that discomforting thought immediately manifests in the way Gen frowns, fingers tugging tight into the sleeves of his shirt where he has his arms crossed, the thin press of his lips makes it obvious he doesn't immediately know how to respond. On some logical level he knows that Misa's approach to her situation is messed up, but ... it's not like he'd been eager to spend a lot of time thinking about what he'd done several years back, either. How is he supposed to point out just how fucked in the head Misa is when he'd also done everything he possibly could to avoid thinking about the blood on his hands?
Gen opens his mouth to say something, pauses, changes his mind, and looks off towards the wall as he deadpans, ]
By that logic -- Makina's also gone. Our worlds are gone. What different does it make if I think about it? Not like there's anyone else here I'd try it again with.
[ So he says, but the way his last words come lingering and halting suggest that's not really the point he wants to make, and he's not happy about it. After all, he'd always avoided thinking about his demons, but that process had never come easy for him. His thoughts had always wandered back to those subjects, and a part of him almost envies how easily Misa seems to shelve subjects she simply doesn't want to think about.
... ugh, whatever. Thinking about this too hard is going to give him a headache. Gen sighs before pushing himself off the wall to stand straight once more, reaching up to brush his hand back through his hair; it's long enough that it keeps slipping out of place, and the pale strands bother him every time they slide into his field of vision. ]
Well ... do whatever you wanna do. I only wanted to ask what happened -- whatever else you do isn't really my problem. [ And somehow, he doubts she'd listen to anything he has to say, anyway. Which would be fair enough. ]
no subject
Whatever you say, tough guy.
[ There's a breeziness to the way she says that, not condescending nor making fun of him - just a slightly worn-out sigh. It's the closest return to the way she'd spoken to him before Venera, perhaps falling just in line with his perception of how easily she can shelve things away, how easily she can fall back to "normalcy." It's not like she wants things to be strained between the two of them, after all. To her, the matter here feels settled; she understands his side better, and he understands hers. So maybe they could move on now, right? The search for Amos had certainly dampened a considerable amount of her aggression, too...
Once he starts leaning off the wall, she stands up too, feeling awkward letting someone leave while just lounging about. ]
But now you know. [ Another sigh. ] And since you do, I'll admit that I misjudged things back then, but it's not totally my fault, okay? Just saying.
[ And while she maintains that it isn't completely her fault for assuming the worst of him... the implication is that in some part, it was. It was easy to associate the scene with what she'd gone through herself, especially in such an emotionally empathetic and charged environment like Venera was. While she'd vastly prefer it if they could just go back to being normal allies and that they could go back to their regular banter, she feels it'll be even more awkward if she tries to act normal with him the next time she sees him without at the very least acknowledging the argument they'd had. There's an expectant look in her eye, as she makes eye contact with him again— plainly expecting him to accept what she said and agree. ]
no subject
Yeah, yeah. I get it.
[ That flippant answer is accompanied by an equally dismissive wave of the hand. Misa could not be blamed for finding that display of typical teenage behaviour annoying, given what they'd been talking about. But at least Gen follows it up with a low huff -- hand rising to rub at the back of his neck, tugging restlessly at the (growing-too-long) tangle of hair at the nape of his neck as he continues at a mumble: ]
... I said more than I should have, back then.
[ They're burying the hatchet like this, right? He gets it. He's not fully placated by Misa's half-assed admission of fault, and he imagines Misa won't be super pleased with his own not-quite-apology, but ... whatever. This much should be enough that they should be able to go back to pretending things are normal, at least. He's spent his whole life in a small town, he knows how things are when it's the same people stuck in the same place, having to see each other all the time -- sometimes it's best to make concessions so that day-to-day life is a little more bearable. And while Gen is hardly so forgiving that he'd make such compromises with most people ... fine. He'll go for it this time. Misa's still one of the few reminders he has of his life back home, and she's not completely wrong this time.
Still, even this bargain-bin imitation of an apology doesn't come easy to him, and there's barely enough room to let his words sink in before Gen hastily adds, ]
-- and don't go telling anyone about what you saw. Okay. [ Not quite brusque enough to be a demand, but too rude to be a request. Gen finally meets Misa's gaze, brow knitted -- looking for a moment like he's considering threatening her before he settles for muttering, ] ... really not planning on ever doing it again. So. It doesn't have anything to do with anyone here.
no subject
Duh? Who would I even tattle on you to? And just when I was gonna say, 'I'm not gonna say anything, so no need to threaten me...'
[ There's a little hmph after she finishes rambling, an immature irritation rising to the surface. But, there's really nothing serious about it, she's just annoyed in the way someone is when they get told to do wash the dishes when they were already planning on doing it.
For a while there, she'd been having doubts on whether or not he still felt the same way he had back then— she witnessed for herself the weight of that ache he's chained to, after all. Though, the subdued way with which he admits to not having plans to ever try it again keep her from remaining too skeptical, as he really has no reason to try to convince her of it, unless he's being honest. It's a relief, however small, not that she shows an inch of it. For today, she's had enough showing any vulnerability in front of him. ]
If that's it, go on, shoo. [ She makes little shooing motions at him, apparently comfortable enough to go back to acting this way with him. ] I've got stuff to work on!