[ He'll feel a twinge from her side of the communion, unbidden - the single pluck of a heartstring, dimmed by their lack of a shared Legacy, at the mention of Abel. At this point in time, she still hasn't been able to overcome the sense of grief and dread she felt when she first laid eyes on the pair in the Citadel, as she continues to struggle with the act of letting go and severing their connection entirely as she knows she should. As she knows she must. The weight of knowing she must make an appearance at the showing, must prove that she can withstand this kind of thing and not falter, hangs oppressively over her head.
Perhaps it's better that it was Abel and Himeka first, the two who had shared anything they had with her, before any of them knew what was going on. The others after this might not seem so bad. ]
That's right. Not anything.
[ A beat. ]
Not anyone.
But even then... if things went my way, they wouldn't be like this.
[ How they would be, she doesn't answer. Maybe Rand can pretend for a moment that she means that Abel and Himeka wouldn't be harmed at all, and that might be a point in her favor. But rather, the reason she doesn't clarify is because she truly, and honestly, would rather they were dead. It's what her initial, kneejerk solution was for all the Pleroma, when she first learned of this conflict. Wipe them all out, and their problems would disappear, right? But things aren't ever so simple, she's found. Despite all the blood on her hands, she sees little reason to make someone suffer the way they are, unless it's to get information, or perhaps to strike fear into other Pleroma. Other Kenoma, to keep them from defecting? Whatever the reason, she can accept it if it's the Regent's doing, though it doesn't mean it'd be her go to strategy. ]
I really did tell him to stay out of things. Because he'd get hurt... and because he was my friend. [ Past tense. A pause. ] I guess there's no point in telling you that, though.
[ Unlike with Abel, she has a sense for what lengths Rand is willing to go. Telling him how certain he is to get the same fate as Abel if he keeps swimming against the current would probably only embolden him more to challenge those in Achamoth. ]
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Perhaps it's better that it was Abel and Himeka first, the two who had shared anything they had with her, before any of them knew what was going on. The others after this might not seem so bad. ]
That's right. Not anything.
[ A beat. ]
Not anyone.
But even then... if things went my way, they wouldn't be like this.
[ How they would be, she doesn't answer. Maybe Rand can pretend for a moment that she means that Abel and Himeka wouldn't be harmed at all, and that might be a point in her favor. But rather, the reason she doesn't clarify is because she truly, and honestly, would rather they were dead. It's what her initial, kneejerk solution was for all the Pleroma, when she first learned of this conflict. Wipe them all out, and their problems would disappear, right? But things aren't ever so simple, she's found. Despite all the blood on her hands, she sees little reason to make someone suffer the way they are, unless it's to get information, or perhaps to strike fear into other Pleroma. Other Kenoma, to keep them from defecting? Whatever the reason, she can accept it if it's the Regent's doing, though it doesn't mean it'd be her go to strategy. ]
I really did tell him to stay out of things. Because he'd get hurt... and because he was my friend. [ Past tense. A pause. ] I guess there's no point in telling you that, though.
[ Unlike with Abel, she has a sense for what lengths Rand is willing to go. Telling him how certain he is to get the same fate as Abel if he keeps swimming against the current would probably only embolden him more to challenge those in Achamoth. ]